Coming out of what I just had to endure, a break was needed. God Delivering me out of the Trial of my Life! God always leaves me speechless, a woman who always has a word to write. This situation has been a baring on me for the last four years, finally God has closed a portion of that situation. I am forever thankful; words alone cannot describe how grateful I feel. After taking time to reflect on it all. I realize something about me, that I did not want to admit. I have allowed the past to consume me. All the past hurt and situations, I allowed that to get to me.
Surely if you survive traumatic situations, it is a life changing experience. However, you do not have to let that get to you. In the beginning of this situation, I have to ask for forgiveness from myself. Why, because I did not allow myself enough time to heal. I went right back to work, right back to what people would say “the norms of life”. I wanted to be tough; I did not want to seem weak to family and friends.
I was not in a place where I could be vulnerable with anyone, because everyone was against me from friends to family. So, I had to pretend that I was okay. I learned to conceal my feelings, so I thought. The funny thing is that we can never hide how we truly feel from God. It’s better to just be honest and go before Him with Truth. With learning to hide my feelings, I learn to be in a room and not really be in that room. I have been doing that for the past 4yrs. Being in a room but so consume by hurt, it’s like I’m in a completely different space.
Up unto recently I have said “enough”. Enough with being consume by hurt and negativity, enough with beating myself up. It’s time to live in the moment, taking things day by day. Enjoying and saving those special memories that a camera or pen cannot capture. Enough with allowing the past and people of the past to affect your life. When it is clear they have move on with their life.
If you stumble across this blog, then God is speaking to you! He says Enough! Live my Child, Live! This is a part of full surrendering. You do not have the power or authority to change anyone, nor can you go back and change the past. God has those powers, not us. We as His people are supposed to do one thing. Lay it at His feet. Throughout the Bible it is written Jesus telling you to lay all the heavy burdens at His feet. Let God do the heavy lifting, and you be His People.
I’m learning to live each day, by day. Not rushing to do things all in one day. Not looking for change all in one night. Just wanting to be making progress daily. Because one day in Jesus name, I will get there. I will be where Jesus needs me to be. Daily progress is so much better than daily regression.
I write you to say, Live in the Moment. Thank God for it all. The House even if it’s not where you want to be, the food even if it’s not what you want to eat, everything. Make special memories with the people who truly love you, the people God has placed in your life. Life is not long enough for us to carry so much hurt and negativity daily. We as God’s People see the world changing right before our eyes. Many of us will say ” we are in our last days” well if you people that, what are you going to do different?
Blessings,
~Author J.M.
Biblical Reference:
Philippians 4 KJV
1 Peter 5: 7 KJV
Matthew 11:28 KJV
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